internal conflicts, moral, social,cultural dillemmas abound!...guess this hits people during puberty but it was delayed in my case....ill put it down one by one..

start with yesterday...tmi sad shes havin a fun time givin quizzes, particapating in debates n what not in all colleges of mumbai and that she had become wellknown due to theis in bsc......that put me off...now why? is that jealousy?...but of whom? tmi-one of "my" people? happened to read a certain line today which goes: worst kind of feeling:jealousy of others; success

now the other one...had a freshers party...was quite nice...with some dance n all...some ppl jived to but i was unable to find a partner(rather not tried...coz i dunno jive!)...but i managed to do birdy dance on stage..with help from disha mary...
but at the end of the day..it was ashton who stole the show with his mimicry of all the profs...now this put me off too...

the third ones the regular...not gettin enough female attention..

okay the jubiliations were absent...but i attribute it to the lack of action..today it was more like workbook than workshop...damn....
rugved still is icy...but everyone else feels friendly...even the girls..
the lectures are starting to fell damn boring...will have to see into it...the so called unit tests are next week...n we cant bunk so wheres the time to stuy?..but still will have to manage...dunno how

somethings unsettling me...i dont know what n i donno what..rather what exactly....letme run you through my day for u to get the idea...
went to anchitas as i had an invitation for her ganpati...salil n bob were there too....n then i gues her talks made all the difference....she talked about hookah n boozing damn freely...as if its what kids do everyday...was it the reason? did i become uncomfortable because i hadnt done anything of it ? or is it the casual manner in which she talked about hookups n dating n makin out n stuff...i havent got any ..is it "it??
or was it her friend...a rather smart-rather smoot marathi+english speaking gal? am i having inferiority complex? do i need to make myself smarter?..or is it that i think i dont look good enough? or is it all of these? wat wat wat???